February

Brad is so good to me.  Even though I said "don't spend any $$ on Valentines this year, we need to save."  He still pulled through and went shopping at Wholefoods for me!  Ha!  He knows me well and  wrapped up all kinds of goodies for me, including my favorite , spring rolls which I ate straight away. 

Was feeling a little lousy this morning for my fill up...trying to manage to crack a smile.  

Working a full day at The Emporium is not easy while I am going through this reconstruction because I seem to tire much easier.  Hence, this photo of me chugging my "Spark".  It's a pick me up.  

Wait? Life doesn't end when you have been told you have cancer?

So admidst all the medical/cancer crap was the wonderful, amazing and spectacular Superbowl 50 game where the Broncos BEAT the Panthers!!  We celebrated at the downtown Superbowl Parade.  What a day!  Magical.  Forgot about my cancer for the day!

A typical day...not so typical

I feel blessed regardless of the daily ups and downs that go along with cancer.   It is truly incredible what modern medicine can do during the reconstruction stage!  Today's appointment felt pretty good! Then I worked late tonight at The Emporium for an Alzheimer's benefit and my boss assigned me to be the bartender so I could sit down all night which was very thoughtful.  I woke up at 2:15 am IN PAIN from the procedure to find my husband awake too.  (Poor guy never seems to get a good nights sleep #stupidGVHD). So, we raided his drugs for a good pain killer for me.  Hey!  The perks of both of us having cancer!!! I got a kick out of these unlikely photos of drugs, booze, medical instruments and hospital gowns.   

These are the instruments they use for my "fill ups" 

It takes only about 10 minutes and then I am done.  Looking pretty normal now.  Amazing. 

Worked that night...made it through just fine. 

 

Just a few of Brad's drugs.  Drugs, drugs and more drugs. 

Reconstruction and treatment

My bulbs and my flat chest.  This was my appointment to get the bulbs removed.  A quick snip and tug and they were out.  So glad to be rid of my "christmas bulbs", which I lovingly named them because I had to lug them around the whole holiday season.

Feeling pretty good and enjoying family at our annual Christmas baking party that Meagan graciously hosted for us this year. 

Picked up my first dose of Tamoxifen.  This tiny pill will be taken for 5 years and will combat any other cancer that tries to surface!!

The expanders are in and now the fill ups begin.  Amazing process only it feels like I have a 2 x 4 board in my chest.  Hard as a rock.  Sleeping is a challenge, lifting is discouraged and range of motion is limited.  And we are moving back into our house this month.  This could take awhile for me to get us settled in.

I am still sleepy, I guess it is because my body is still healing and working hard to do that!  I need to slow down!! 

Recovery at Nanny's

I'm giving a thumbs up here and it's a selfie but I do not remember much of this day after surgery.  It took me quite awhile to come out of the anesthesia.  Anyway, looking good with no makeup and a tube in my nose!!

We are familiar with the plate presentations at St. Joe's hospital from Brad's say there.  They are lovely and here is my breakfast, pretty flower included! 

Night night.  I get to go home tomorrow!! 

My old "girls" are gone and underneath these bandages you will find a clean incision across the center of both and they are concave.

A selfie...I am obviously still loopy from the pain killers...

Treats, flowers and sweet messages were delivered.

Oh sweet Olivia and the sign my little nephews and niece made for me.  Love it. 

My mastectomy was Dec 9 so don't forget I had to get Christmas up before it all happened.  Here's another selfie of me and our humble tree. 

My little Samantha joined me as I recover and she was suffering from another one of her headaches.  I love this girl and will let her crawl in bed with me any day. 

This is my "Nana's blanket that was delivered to me by my Aunt Mary from California.  My dad brought it to me and when I opened it I smelled it (because Nanny was an Avon lady and she had a wonderful smell).  Sure enough, I smelled my Nana and started to cry.  She's been gone a long time but I feel her presense with me sometimes. 

One of my favorite photos of my recovery.  I was grateful to be at Nanny's while I recovered for many reasons.  This is one of them, the visits from family were frequent and Olivia made my day on this particular day. 

Once I was able to get out and about I went to the temple grounds and took a nice look.  It brings me peace being there so this made me happy. 

Double Masectomy-December 9, 2015

MY JOURNALING:

It's day four since my double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. It's time for me to start

journaling my thoughts and experiences with this challenge that me and my family have to face.

Leading up to the surgery I was quite peaceful. Heavenly Father blessed me with that, I have no

doubt. I know that all will be well. And I've been saying that from the beginning that it's just a big old

hassle and that's it.

Preparatory to the surgery I had a room full of some of my favorite people. Brad, Samantha,

Grandma Jean and Grandpa Mark, and my brother Mike. All there to support me and see me

off as the nurses wheeled me out of the pre-op room into surgery. I remember I had a surgical

nurse who was really cute, Kelly, from Philadelphia. Only been in Colorado a few months and had a bunch of

tattoos. We connected. Cute gal. And I remember her introducing me to everyone in the

operating room. I remember Dr Kolb was sitting in a chair and was smiling at me. I remember a

guy named Chief. Chief and Kelly helped me get on the operating table. Chief said. "Do you

feel like you're in the center of the table Lisa?" I said yes, I laid my head back in a little pillow

with a hole in it and after I got in the right position that I was gone. From that point on I don't

remember anything until I got into recovery. I could not wake up in recovery. It seemed to take me

forever. I could hear things going on around me but couldn't open my eyes. I'm pretty sure they

brought Brad in to check on me. At that point I think I opened my eyes. Had some water and crackers

and then if I remember right they put me in a wheelchair and took me up to my hospital room

where I would stay overnight. I requested that no one stay with me as I knew I would just be

sleeping. But getting up that first night to go to the bathroom was painful. I have drains coming

out of both sides of my rib cage that hang down. They are a nuisance. And boy did I hurt. I had

a headache to which didn't help matters. And no matter what they gave me it wouldn't go away.

Day one at Saint Joe's in recovery was weird. It takes me many days to recover from anesthesia.

I imagine they loaded me up pretty good for the surgery and so I don't remember half of the

people that came in to check on me or what I said to them. My mom told me that I did ask her if

my bangs looked OK. That seems about right. Ha ha my bangs are my nemesis. My brother-in-law

Tom delivered flowers for me and they were beautiful. I got a visit from my Bishop Paul

Archer and I don't remember a whole lot of what we talked about. Still coming down from the

anesthesia  and I had serious cottonmouth. Didn't sleep much that night because of all the

interruptions from the staff. Brad came to get me and take me home around 3:30 or 4. I don't

remember a whole lot of that either. I just know mom was at home (Nanny's) already waiting for me. We

rearranged all the bedrooms so that Grandma Jean could sleep with me.  I was up a lot. They

told me how to drain out the bulbs. Gross. We've had

meals brought in the last three nights and they were wonderful. There's been a quiet

peacefulness in my room upstairs as I recover and heal. Looking at myself in the mirror is also

strange. Yet it's fascinating too.

Brad and I met with Dr. Kolb, my plastic surgeon a week prior just to go over everything.  here are the damn extenders that are in my chest now.  They will stay there until my fill ups reach the size that I want. 

Check in at St. Joe's and waiting to be called for pre op prep.  Yikes.  My sweet Sam was there with me along with the rest of the gang who showed up.

All set up and now we wait...

Shooting the breeze with my family as we wait for surgery.  Samantha, Bradley, Mom, Mark and Mike.  Remember, my Emily is at BYUI and Joe is on a mission!

Ok, time to say my goodbyes...Brad just said, "see you later, hon'" No kiss, no hug!  He said he didn't know what to do so that's what he did. 

All done after 4 hours of surgery.  Everything went well!  Grateful for the great surgeons that I had.  I was so out of it for quite sometime.  And after everyone left, I had to use the bathroom and it was so painful to get out of bed.  I had 2 bulbs/drains on either side of my rib cage too so that the wounds could drain.  I had to change them and clean them.  Really gross and I had to keep them in for several weeks.

Love this photo of my sweetheart, smiling through all the pain he is going through too.   I love him.

Could go down as the worst day of my life? Breast BIOPSY..awful day

It's important for me to remember one of the worse days of my life as I was going through the process of the breast cancer diagnosis.  I have invasive ductal carcinoma. Stage 1 thank heavens.  Treatable.  From the get go I have faced it with a positive attitude.  I know I will be ok.  But this particular day was terrible. They needed a biopsy of the lump that was found so I scheduled appointment in the morning. I need to add that at this time I already knew there was cancer from the mammogram.  Now they wanted a sample.  So when I got the news about the cancer my mom panicked and said "get off the soda today!!!" So I stopped drinking Diet Coke which results in horrendous withdrawals and headaches which I had this morning.  A bad choice.  To top it off I also had vertigo.  Bad vertigo.  I don't know why, I don't know how, but I had it.  And it was horrible. So when I pulled up to Kaiser and parked the car I was crying. I honestly don't know how I was going to make it into the building on my own.  So I prayed that Father in heaven would hold my hand as I went through this.  And I did it for my family. I kept thinking "do it for your kids".  And I was blessed. The radiology asst that  helped was wonderful and compassionate.  She calmed my nerves. The biopsy was removed with what  sounded like a staple gun.  With each sample there was a loud noise and out comes a chunk. The hard part was waiting in the hall in radiology dept with my  open in the front hospital gown until they made sure they got a good sample. My head was killing me and my vertigo was keeping me from looking up and around.  I don't exactly remember why they needed biopsy even though they knew there was cancer already.  They need to look at everything under the microscope. Needless to say I made it through.  Went home and got into bed.  

October 26, 2015...another life changing day

On Oct 26, 2015 after a routine mammogram, I find out I have breast cancer in my left breast.  Here's my first photo-getting ready for an MRI so they can see if there are any other signs of cancer. Good news is they didn't see any other signs of cancer. 

 Our first check up to find out what plans they have for me...Brad doing a little jig to lighten things up.  This time I am on the exam table!! Diagnosis-A lumpectomy and also a few lymph nodes under my armpit will be removed and biopsied.  Then most likely radiation treatment for 4-6 weeks, everyday. Little did I know that this this photo will go down as one of the last photos of my real boobs.  Weird.

Lumpectomy day..first thing...they have to put a needle marker into my breast so my surgeon, Dr. Kolpac can see where to go.  Yeow.  Got a numbing shot right where it counts, in the nipple.  I had to get a mammogram after this too!  They sat me in the hall until the mammographer was ready.  Ha!  I couldn't resist taking a photo of this and sending it to Brad seeing as he has a chest port now.  We both have apparatuses hanging from our chest!! 

 Selfie as I wait for mammogram before surgery. 

So, the bad news is after we got the lumpectomy results back they said that they did not get all the cancer.  There was more.  This call brought me to my knees and I cried 

and cried because I knew what was to come.  I had talked enough with family and friends about taking the breasts off with a double mastery if it was bad enough.  I thought I was one of the lucky ones that just needed a lumpectomy and then be done with it.  This is my pre-op appointment.  This appointment was a little depressing hence the sad face, then I decided, no sadness...stay happy and positive , so I took another!